Be Irresistible, Click Here What do men really want in relationships? In this powerful episode, I, Willie Moore Jr., jump deep into ...
What do men really want in relationships? In this powerful episode, I, Willie Moore Jr., jump deep into faith, healing, and the ...
next on the love you more show you've been married now for a very very long time one you been married forever okay good stuff there for 23 hey man hold on I got to you you are eligible bachelor you're an eligible bachelor cor you eligible bachelor I'll give you a pass what woman would be the woman that you could marry now what kind of woman could you marry now cuz you got women looking at this show um and they're saying these are good dudes they watch your content and the whole n what does she exist that could make you marry her now well I mean it has to be a vetting process but I'm looking for Value okay vetting process okay so well how long is the vetting process you saying two three years I would say about two years okay so two years so she's is what you want now and you going to make it wait two years hey family willly mo Jun here excited about this moment in time because you are tuned in to the love you more show notice that I did not call it a podcast because it is a show and if you call it a podcast I'm going find you 50 bucks okay I'mma put my cash app in the description here's the thing I'm so excited to have you today for those of you who are new to the show I want to tell you this I really appreciate you and I really want to make it clear to you who we are we are the show that covers people who have been through Hurts Habits hangups breakups and their Journey to loving themselves more listen the Bible says this that you are to love your neighbor as you love yourself and the issue is that you may not love yourself Therefore your neighbor may not be getting too much of love from you come on let's get that out the way and uh today is a big big day because I'm doing something different as you can tell the set has changed I just realized I had a sippy cup okay okay I just realized I had a sippy cup and so I'm probably going to keep it just a little gangster today I'mma put I'mma put this on the side and I'm going to do it this way so we can um you know so I can Le be a player with mine okay we going to do it I heard some things before time to to to a pure-hearted man I wasn't thinking like that but cheers to everybody who bought the sippy cup yes Lord so you know as we go into this New Year ladies I've heard your cry whether it was on the fox truth talk show or whether it's with the wiie mo Jr show or just in my DM because the DMS be popping flat out just being honest with you I'mma put somebody else back there so you going to keep it PG-13 I promise you that um but I've been hearing from the ladies some are married and you like I don't necessarily know how to support my man anymore um and to the single ladies who are over the age of 35 it's like hey what these men waiting on like you know we met on Tuesday we need to be married by Saturday like what the hell are we waiting for right and then for others who are just saying hey man I just went through a very traumatic time with my last man like where do I go so I would like to theme this show as what in the do men actually want right so I brought some of my guys who I actually love to life starting to my left it's my brother Ryan and he's part of the Harley initiated crew tan is here and my mentor brother and friend KD Bo is in the house ladies here you go there it is shout out to ktie B shout out to Tashan and Ryan love what you doing with Harley initiated tackling some really really really great subject it started off as relationships now it's like spiritual growth um talk a little bit about who you are what you do and your relationship status so I'm Ryan katchin uh co-founder and co-host of Harley initiated I would say it's the number one platform for faith based content spiritual growth and relationship yeah all that now he getting pissed off we making an impact and uh what was the second question what the right I guess conven conveniently forgot that one but still single single but I'm actively dating yeah good stuff good stuff yeah taon Jackson second half of Harley initiated also I'm in a relationship right now I'm in a relationship right now I Ain call you that is a huge deal I'll tell you why later goe yeah congratulations though no I I appreciate it I I appreciate it you know this um it's been a journey I think Harley initiative has taught me a lot yeah about myself and um really motivated me to go ahead and make that decision because I think there's a lot of confusion with men on why and the purpose of a relationship why you would actually put yourself in a commitment like a relationship in 2025 yeah so you know the harling and [ __ ] help me get that Clarity yeah that's dope ktie Bo um stri out shout out to the certified man podcast that's growing really empowering men ladies are even being extremely inspired because I get them get some of your clips from ladies they like hey he was on it right here talk a little bit about who you are what you what you do in your relationship ship status is where um KD Bo of course know that the Voice married yeah um and I my whole goal is to empower men man to make them the best version of themselves um help them heal from the wounds that they passed we got them and just become the best version of themselves and you know I walked away from Radio what like four years ago yes to really give myself to this space of content creation but the interesting thing was man um just really like a month ago God challenged my heart and said boy you still hiding you're not supposed to be behind the camera all the time supposed be in front of it cuz I gave you something to give to the people yeah sound familiar don't you told me that as well so that's where I am man and I love what I do and I love this show I love what you're doing man when you take the breaks off man you do what you do man I'm proud bro I'm so that to me man and these guys here man y'all are amazing y had the little card table that the Lord get this messy way way so the way I'm doing it today is honestly I have a whole lot of questions I'm not going to get my phone out first um but there are so many people in our patreon community if you are not a part of our patreon community I'm going to encourage you to do so because you'll get an opportunity to ask questions to these amazing guests that we have shout out to PE people who've been there for a while you got a chance to speak to Chris Tucker through your messages you had the opportunity to speak to James Fortune through your messages you got an opportunity to speak to David and T man through your messages so if you want to be a part of that Community traditionally I know that you do not read the description that I worked so hard on and part with J Chad GPT to put on this YouTube I know you're not reading it but if you read through that and go right past that there's a link in patreon you can become a part of the community we coming to a city near you so one of our patreon members they just asked wait a minute who you said you f to have on there and I told them I'm going have Katie B taan and Ryan from Harley initiated and of course it's me and the first question was is what the heck hell are men really looking for in women because this particular woman she has been with somebody for the last two years and they've been actively dating and she's like listen I'm not getting no younger I don't have children I just turned 40 I love this guy I think he's great but like you know what am I doing wrong like why is he so afraid of the commitment um thoughts fellas oh I'm interested as to why she would ask anybody other than him what would be the what would be the drawback honestly man most guys when they're serious they'll tell you straight up this is what's going on and this is what's happening this is what I want to do this is my timeline when you're really serious about somebody you move differently I'm not here to tell people you know that you know you've been with a person for two years if you're not married leave him I'm not I'm not I live in that space But I do think that you should get some answers about what it is that you want and ask them specifically hey I want to be married what are your thoughts about that and if they don't say anything or if they quiet then that's a thing pay attention to it hey you know I asked you list and you were a little quiet is there a reason yeah you know because you a lot of stuff can hide in silence and as long as you get voice to it then you cannot have the boogie monster of well what if what and then you sending in letters to to podcast and what have you I owe you 50 bucks my bad to show Willy J sty sign willly Jr no worries it's coming Tashan you're actively dating how long will Tashan wait before he makes a strong commitment is this woman younger is she mid AG is she a little older than tan like what are your thoughts what is it going to tell you know she's actually I would say she's pretty much my age a year younger than myself okay and it's interesting because when I first met the I met a pre- podcast come on pre pre podcast before the Bri came right right when the podcast was getting popped off okay so that's the good thing I know she Ain have for no you know for the fame which is good yeah but it's interesting because you know dealing with a woman up front it was my intention was casual I was a whole different person and you know she actually was with me while I'm maturing spiritually you know maturing mentally and just maturing as a man altogether so it's an interesting transition where man my intention is to see you and just purely led by lust now all of a sudden especially because a woman with beautiful character and a beautiful heart um and my heart changing all of a sudden my intentions are changing with this woman and um it's interesting because as a man who really takes providership seriously a lot of times women would think that you know uh he's slow poking because he doesn't want me yeah they'll internalize the decision making but a lot of times men who are very that they take that role very seriously they may want to over prepare and this I Lally had a conversation with um my I just I'm in premar actually and um on a one on one that's one thing she said about she said taon I see this in your personal life where how you handle business yeah I see this with how you deal with your family and this is also what you're doing with your relationship they you really want to make sure you have all your ducks in a row yeah um and I think a lot of men feel that way especially the ones that take providership seriously because it takes a lot to lead a family M and a woman for the rest of your life and for men that really take that role seriously I don't think women understand all the things we consider before we make that decision cuz that is the biggest decision we make so you know right now man I'm trying to get my relationship right with God I'm trying to get my paper and my money right you feel me I'm really trying to get my paper and my money right come on say it one more time really trying to and my money right I like when you that's very real praise the Lord and you know it's certain areas that I personally have that have nothing to do with this woman I personally have to get to a place of stability before I can comfortably make that commitment myself without being pressured by the woman indeed so the question becomes is do you have to wait though because I know a lot of men it's a lot of guys out there that I met and I'm hanging out with and I'm just like your life got so much better and it became so much more inhance once they connected with the right person you know the Bible says in your weakness he's made strong but sometimes when we're in our weakness we just like I don't feel strong but could that could be the best opportunity for God to maybe send and mate to help like what are your thoughts about that because I know we put a lot of focus as men like I got to have that bread before I do what I do but I I met a guy he didn't have a bread but I knew he loved a woman and he was like man I don't even got enough money to to really do the ring and I'm not bragging on myself and then I'm like how much you got how much does it cost let's go to the store today and let's get it done they've been married now for 18 years and he built with her everything and they have a bond that I'm just like man that was pretty good and now being divorced I'm like damn somebody should have probably bought my ring or something cuz I had to buy mine and yours but you know there's just different scenarios so is it a individual thing men from like each man is individual or is that something that men would also consider building with a woman as they grow through their go through I think it should be a goal to build with the woman as you grow yeah and I also don't think there's anything wrong with dating a woman for 2 to 3 years before you decide to give her that lifelong commitment I actually think that's idea yeah I think it's idea we actually had Dr Spirit on the show and she you know renowned therapist she mentioned that a minimum of 18 months to two years yeah so I think two to three years is reasonable but not two to three years if you come up on two to three years and now you still inquiring if this the right person I should be dating so before you can even know if a man is serious about you you have to really you know trust that he is serious about himself and any man that's not providing the vision for the person he's spending the most time with can not Poss posibly be serious about itself and I think that's something that that women often confuse when they spend time dating a man because it can be so easy to get wrapped up in how you feel about things but I always tell this to women lust and impatience is an enemy of discernment so if you are fornicating with a man and you are impatient about what his intentions are or what the next move is it's no way you can make a proper decision on if that man is the right man for you your long-term investment indeed so you saying that you're like right now actively dating what are some of the things that turn around off when you're speaking to somebody since you're actively dating what have been some of the best opportunities and what were some of the opportunities where you Tex T and said what the hell did I just get myself into you know it's so crazy because I meet so many women and we get women who DM us email us some women even find my phone number online and they reach out to me but I always take time to speak to them and and hear about how they feel and it's unfortunate because I rarely meet young women and when I say young women I don't mean age I mean young in spirit because what happens is women get so caught up in the neg the negative uh relationships and the negative past experiences that they had that that is what you read on them when you meet them and it's in their attitudes and it's in how they carry themselves it's really their entire demeanor and that's what I tell women you have to think about keeping yourself young forever so that's building your character that's having a a peace of mind that's loving yourself that's happiness that's Joy that's all of the really the fruits of the spirit so if you allow past relationships to dictate how you show up in the present then you're going to come off as old and that's the most important thing if you want to be young you have to keep you have to be young internally and has nothing to do with age so I so when I speak to women I realize I'm like man you you're just not in the place you're not in the right mindset your subconscious is not set to where you are able to show yourself presently and be open to learning new things to enjoying a man to care for a man and actually spending your time studying and showing appreciation for your man and so so how do women respond when you that honest I mean it's crazy sometimes it it leads to tears because I don't give it to him as direct as that I a never say you're not direct though well I'm I give it to them as I know they can handle it and when I ask questions when I get feedback a lot of times it becomes a very emotional moment because then those women start to think about what's actually in your mind and you really have to think because I hear a lot of you know women say they desire a good man but you have to first understand what desire is desire is expressed through action now the greater your expectancy is for that desire the greater the desire becomes but if you truly don't expect if you truly don't expect to find a good man then you have no desire so if you have no desire you have no action and that is the key because every problem is first solved in the mind so if you want to find a good man you literally have to create a good man in your mind first mhm so is well cuz I don't want to take take all all of this here but most men just listening to them they often say that this expected man that you created in your damn head he he's not reality he is a superhero that you've created in your heart and your head but what you believe is if they create that man in their head somehow that person will exist will that be to a te will that be 20 or 10% kind of off like how does that look this the thing we have to understand that when it comes to relationships when it comes to the things that you want we are here to live a life of health and abundance it is a woman's right to find a good man but you really do have to manifest it and I'm not talking about a man's external possessions that's not what you create in your head you create the internal possession that you want that man to have and by creating it you actually have to live it you have to become that person for you to attract that person so if you're not the person you want to be there's no way it's going to appear in front of you indeed KD you've been married now for a very very long time yeah and you know from the beginning you know you guys you know you buil your relationship did she see you in her heart and her head were you something that she built you've been married now for over what almost 20 years yeah been married forever come on like 15 15 years okay good stuff there for [Music] 23 hey man hold on I got to you you are eligible bachelor you are an eligible bachelor right you eligible bachelor I'll give you a pass what woman would be the woman that you could marry now what kind of woman could you marry now because you got women looking at this show um and they're saying these are good dudes they watch your content and the whole n what does she exist that could make you marry her now well I mean it has to be a vet process but I'm looking for Value okay vetting process okay so well how long is the vetting process you saying two three years I would say about two years okay so two years so she's is what you want now and you're going to make it wait two years no no I see I didn't say that you going to go out and find everything you want right then no I'm giving you a I'm pitching it to you she is what you want now the time you spent six six months y' been having a great time it's been amazing I guess my point is this I won't put you in a in a pige pigeon hole I just don't think that it is as simple as we make it when it comes down to women cuz ain't a woman just going to go just be no I don't care how amazing she is it's going to be able to get your attention right away and get you to marry her to put a ring on her finger and I think that that's the challenge that we're that we're that we're face with because the thing is if you're still trying to get yourself together why you dating I'm coming kind of strong here but I ain't trying to be funny here but I'm saying you saying hey man I I need you know two three years it just kind of roll with me for two or three years or you know just kind of see how it works out what does that mean what what's is there there's no guarantee I mean what what does that look like it has to be a test I mean you can't test you can't know somebody's character until youve experienced a lot of the seasons that come with life how am I supposed to know you're a good person if we've never been through hardship together how do I know that you're going to continue to fall in line with your commitment if there has not been time that has surpassed so you can meet someone from on the outside they they appear to have good character but character has to be tested that's the only way you can prove that it exists Brian when we talk about Seasons seasons is a year four four seasons I mean what I mean is this okay you don't know what she's going to be like when she has menopause I hope you don't you know know it's like when if the the mom or dad dies I mean you know there are seasons that are going to arise I think that it's got to be this conversation has that got to be it doesn't have to be anything but I would suggest that maybe if we have the conversation then is there some tangible Seasons that we absolutely have to have because if we say I got to see you with all seasons that's not realistic man that's a that's a really good point because pretty much what you're saying is we need to clearly establish what we looking for yes we need to have clear tangible things that we're vetting mhm in the woman so we know exactly and see that I think that's the problem when it comes to dating because a lot of women have experienced men where they've been with them for two to three years but it's in a very unintentional two to three years M and and I have personally spent time with women unintentionally and a lot of times it may be for different reasons whether that brother is is just purely in a relationship for sex whether because the brother is purely ignorant and literally has no idea how to vet a woman some guys truly believe that's most of us man they believe that because we just have a good we have a couple good dates every now and again on the weekend we call on the phone and check in This Is Us vetting a woman we many of us have no idea what to look for or how to test character yeah because essentially that's what the vetting process is it's a test of character that's all it is you know I I'll be honest I got it wrong initially because it was a business deal like I'll be very very honest with you it just made sense like okay well you know I'm a risk taker I'm going to make money you're an accountant you're very responsible at 24 years old I have my own property you have your own property you're a little different than any other woman that I met because you made some financial decisions that seemed very very responsible right but what I did not do is I didn't investigate the girl in her so I think in the vetting process as men we got to consider that everybody has a little boy everybody has a little girl and we got to kind of find out what those idioc secrecies are because at the end of the day just like my dear brother Ryan said when you go through these different seasons you see how they handle conflict and the real question becomes is does that little girl does she disrespect the little boy that's in you because there has to be a beautiful balance between the two when I see that little girl show up and I know that she needs to be loved and she's being very disrespectful to the little boy in me can that man stand up and say hey I got you Boo and then when my little boy shows up can the woman in her say this is not the time for me to go back and forth with you because I see insecurity I see problems see vulnerability see iny says intimacy says into me see into me see into me I allowed you to see and when I let you see will you thrash me will you hurt me will you degrade me will you make me feel less than a man and here's the thing it's not just women who going through it we come like I know for a fact that I'm traumatized and so I'm very like with with the woman that I'm dating and speaking to I tell her all the time hey this is my rendition of begging because my heart is starting to protect itself wow and so sometimes if it's not my rendition of this is my rendition of begging so if it's a text message or if it's just a voice note I don't know how to beg cuz prably never let me do it I don't know about these 9s R&B dudes I sung the song but I ain't never did the song I grew up on Bishop Snoop Dog but hoes and tricks so that's all in your in your in your heart that's something that that the society put in me so I don't even know how to be vulnerable cuz I'm protecting myself and so in the vetting process I think it's not just vetting the woman and saying that you have to be this you got to look at these little small things on the inside of us because when the rubber hit the road you can be totally dismantled if you're disrespected and you haven't totally healed but it's always a fight and so now what I'm vetting is okay when your little girl show up can I show up as a man okay when my little boy show up like how do you like how do you handle that because as far as preach providing and protecting I think that just comes Solly with consistency and being true to the calling that you have on your life like I believe that money is a bright product of you just being consistent having the right systems and doing what you have to do just sit down with Marcus Barney I tell you what the way he look at money seems so simple I said even a 5-year-old could do this but when it comes to a woman who you going to spend your life with you got to realize that if if you can't really you know really move in that direction comfortably knowing that there's a there are vulnerable parts of you that have to land then I think you got to kind of pump the brights a bit can I can I tell you something girl um there are parts of me that would have never existed had it not been for the friction that I encountered from my marriage from that woman I would have been just a regular dude I would have been just you know I wouldn't have been nothing wrong with me but the growth came because I was able to see myself in her eyes I can see how my touch or my presence caused a certain reaction with her that caused a reaction with me I saw the little boy in me from the my reflection in her eyes so you're right man I'm I'm not telling you listen I'm not telling you that you get into a toxic situation just for the sake of getting into a toxic situation and you know I'm I'm PR marriage and sometimes you know I love marriage and sometimes I hate it let's be clear let be clear sometime I want to be single I do on god wow you say on God on God the views of Katie Bo might not be the views of the Harley initi but and I can imagine she would say the same thing but I think the the the challenge is man what you said Willie and it just touched me so much man that we don't know that that little boy is existing many times until we get in situations where we realize oh snap you have been there all along see as long as you're getting your way people doing what you want long as you got money long as you can move in and out of circles everybody's school but the moment somebody says no yes and you need that no to be a yes yeah and the only way to get that no is just just keep knocking at that door when when when and when you're single you can bust down the door or you can you can Outsource it you can get something but no you got to get what you need from this conduit and it comes from knocking on this door and it means adjusting yourself it means humbling yourself it means pulling yourself back when sometimes you want to be loud you can't be loud right now so it's different bro listen I got to get to another person um this is Karen from Hannibal Missouri never forget her because she is making money she is a seven figure earner and she was very honest with me she said Willie I make seven figures plus my owns a nursing home and we have multiple nursing homes we have a plane and she I was like okay well you doing really good with your life she said the problem is is that a lot of men are intimidated because I CU I do so well financially and I'm not attracting the right people because I'm like I don't care about this stuff I had this stuff you know my dad started this stuff and she's like how do you find a man who can maybe not be doing as well as I am and still feel comfortable to be a man your thoughts I would like to have a conversation with Karen right yeah I would like to really have a conversation with Karen and I could within the first 5 to 10 minutes of speaking to Karen really get to the root cause of what really going on CU it ain't that it ain't that whole intimida situation let me tell you first of all if you look at the conf we just had a whole debate about this whole 50-50 situation on our platform it was crazy and the men are saying listen I like my woman making some money that's what actually women are upset because said too much money so it's a myth that men do not want their woman with some bread that's not true yeah but when you get that bread what does that what does it do to you yeah right how now does that bread make you puff your chest up yeah and talk to men who may not have it the same way you do yeah so a lot of times it has nothing to do with the amount of money that's in your bank account while man moving away it's about what that money does to you and we already see we already see what the money has done to her for her to make the Declaration that men are intimidated by me you've already resign to the fact that men are intimidated by you so that is that is fact it's it's her truth and even when you vocalize it that's what you're going to continue to bring on you and I think tan is right because listen men are not concerned about how much money you make your value is intrinsic when you are born the fact that you have a womb gives you value your dating value comes in your character is comes in you being a good woman so a man is not concerned about how much money you make but if you making all of that money because you're stuck in the Paradox should I become a man versus should I go out and find a good man right if you allow that money to consume you then it will come out in the way you speak it will come out in your tone of voice it'll come out in your actions it'll come out in your thoughts and you can say all you want to that you want to find a good man but if you are condemning other women for find a good man if you are stating that you won't find a good man if you allow jealousy and and all these negative things to creep into you then you are doing the exact opposite of attractive man because condemn the condemnation sends what you want to the exact other side it is so it's just very important that you just don't speak these things you have to have faith and expectancy so when she changes the way she speaks right which you can only change that way by the changing the way you think then she will actually have prospects of being able to get a good man and it has nothing to do with how much money you make that's real shout out to Ryan hardly initiated podcast let me tell you this um I do got to add to this since we're talking about money um in the dating phase right so I have friends right now and they may be dating women and it's like how much do you spend to do you support the woman in your dating phase if you've been dating for about a year or so like do you start to take care of bills do you start to to Really support like what are your thought processes is that after commitment or is that doing the dating phase of you guys being together cuz one of my friends right now he told me he's like man I know we only been dating for like 3 months but man you know I mean we've been together and I think I'm down 15 grand I was like well what the hell was you doing like inv yeah he was like no I was investing I was flying and you know just playing tickets this that and other and he didn't see nothing wrong with of course he making bread but I was just like so okay if that's what you want to do he's like you think I'm a little off with it I was like you go a little hard first three months though you going to make it hard for and come behind you but I don't know if you can maintain that type of behavior what are your thoughts in the dating phase of taking care of overhead for someone that you care about so we I mean we just talked about the purpose of the dating phase is to test character M so the money that we spending shall all be aiding the testing of the character now don't get me wrong every brother not different cuz 15 grand to one brother is not 15 grand to the next right so again this is all relative to what's going down 15 grand 15 grand R Spirit of the Lord I I know a lot of guys so I I understand you know how paper move but you know essentially the most important thing again when you talking about figuring out if a woman is qualified to be your lifelong partner M are we financing the high of the experience right are we you use using the money as a veil to create and manufacture a connection between me and a woman right is that what the money is doing or am I authentically with the money even with the money being involved still able to genuinely see if this is my woman so a lot of times we just got to be careful using money to try to shore up these experiences with these women because the greatest experience I've ever had with a woman a lot of times it was when I went walked walked the park with I went I picnic with the young lady I sat down and I had a glass of wine at the house and we just chat all night so you think he's overcompensated for something that he doesn't necessarily possess absolutely absolutely the two biggest things to failure in relationships is lack of confidence and literally just doing too much so when I hear a man is spending $155,000 within the span of three months you are doing too much well well well depends on how how does he move without the date does he just spend like that anyway if you intend to get a woman for to be committed to the person you are yeah not your resources you need to be working on it's cheaper ways to build connection it's it's ways that cost real effort because spending some money that's that's no effort in that you just you just being extra it's the same thing as a woman who doing a bunch of man wish this was hardly initiated she doing a bunch of screwing and blowing no you can say if you want okay I'm try I'm trying to change I'm trying I'm trying to curve my life listen I watch this show okay okay she doing a bunch and a bunch of cleaning and cooking for a man she only been with for for 3 months and you got a man who spending all his money on a woman she he's only been with for 3 months that is you accepting husbandly duties and accepting wiely duties too early now I'm not saying that you spend the weekend with me and you use up all my tissue I got to buy grocery fors you know what I mean and and I buy coffee and dinner and we go out to a movie that you shouldn't help me fold some clothes or do a little bit of cleaning what I'm saying is as a woman if you are taking responsibility for a man's cleanliness and putting food in his stomach and you are not married that's you doing wely duties if he doesn't eat unless you cook that's you doing wely duties if his place is not clean unless you clean that's you doing wely duties if you are paying bills and her rent does not get paid unless you pay it you are doing husbandly duties and that already is getting the relationship confused you cannot evaluate somebody's true character if you are confusing them with the overinvestment and doing too much of things that are just not required indeed I think that's a perspective I think I think that that is a perspective and I think it's a valid perspective and another perspective is hey man I'm bringing you into my world this is just how I move I move like this I move and however I spend a lot of money I'm very generous I personally a very generous person however I also want to move in your world as well if you invite me into your world how do you move and if you move without spending any money but you're authentic you move by cooking everything you do your own thing I am okay with with that so I think that we should just come to the table with a level of authenticity with what whatever we have so if $15,000 is all your money you're right you're doing too much you're doing too damn much but if it's just that's just how you move you private planes you're doing whatever hey man hey that's how you I'm inviting you into my world and I want you to be as authentic as you can possibly be cuz I'm going be but when it there are times in which I move into your world I want that same thing if you cook and you clean and you ever you want I want I want to experience the authenticity of your world and I just think that that's how I'm going to genuinely see who you are I'm not saying that what you're saying is is incorrect I just think there's another perspective no it's dope it sounds good you know the one thing that I understand is that if a man has a true plan financially like if your money is really working for you if you're very intentional to do what the Bible says as a pertains to owing no man nothing but the debt of love you should have your money moving in streams that number one of course multiplying and then secondly you got to have a debt plan I looked at this mound of debt and I was like what in the hell was I thinking but then still having to live your lifestyle create new opportunities and then when you're in the Christian World whenever you get a little dirt on your name ain't nobody calling you to go speak preach and teach because right now you just have to be set down right and so when you're looking at this amount of debt and you have this money moving in the right direction and you're like okay cool then you got to find Outside ways to really put more money in to create new opportunities for different things that you want to do it's like trying to date and take care and still try to do all that it's just a lot the one now now here's here's what I would say to that because I think a lot of times as men we overvalue the value of money that part as it relates to a woman because there's so many aspects to providership outside of money that we can Showcase with a woman and I'm realizing this now because I think before a brother thinks about paying a woman's rent and Ma managing all of her bills with his own income one of the biggest things you can do is really involve yourself in a woman's plan in her life invol involve yourself in her daytoday help her manage what's in front of her help her build take you take responsibility for her vision like you ain't doing said what we got to do what we got to do is figure out how to see if we can merge our Visions prior more so than merge our finances that's good I like that and see that's a big difference because to merge my vision with this lady I'm going to be doing certain things with her we might be putting family events together very early upon we might be hitting personal goals together we might be reading together we might be working out together we might be hitting the I'm seeing how well we work together as a team and that already is probably a better metric than whether or not I'm able you can be financially dependent upon me cuz Financial dependency if anything just creates is a high and we are no longer logically making decisions on whether or not we work together because now we need each other we don't want each other so we got to really understand as men all the other ways we can provide and build and take responsibility for a woman outside of just our bread and how do how do you how do you create opportunity inside your opportunity for your wife throughout these different chapters of K B's life I mean from Radio the television to BET's Sunday's best and all the stuff that you've been involved in and Now podcast like how do you two create opportunities within the opportunity for each other well I came to the situation man incorrectly I was I was wounded I was broken I was that guy that just did all the wrong things said all the wrong things and then when I started healing I realized that you know I'm treating her like a project and and not just because she was a project it was because I needed a project I had so much man just self-loathing and self-hate for myself that I just needed to I was creating issues so to answer your question now man it's more about what you're saying it's about allowing her and we standing on this side of vision who I am and what I bring to the table that damn table again bring to the table but also making her or leaving space for her to answer that same question yeah because you have to bring something to the table right and not just saying well don't wor wor about it I'll cover it that's how we die too soon bro you married a able-bodied person you have to bring something to the table that is in line with the purpose that God gave you so for me the best thing I can do is give space for her to flourish and become the best person she could be and I water it in whatever ways I can and she does the same thing for me that's the best thing that I can do yeah I think fear is hinder me a whole lot with one woman in particular that's really amazing m and it's like fear fear what just fear just you know I went through some stuff you know when you're sitting in that c courtroom and you see a person that you've given a lot to and you see that although that's her body that's just no longer who she is it's just so shocking and so it's like my heart is like I've seen somebody be so good but then I seen it so bad and then you almost like okay God like true love cast out all fear yes and that's just what I'm believing and then you're like questioning yourself like okay well then why theck am I still fearful then you know what I mean like like is it let me you just have this crazy tug-of-war and I know that it's something on the inside of me that's saying I do want love I do want commitment I do want to be loud about you I want to do all of those things but it's like for me however not a but cuz I think that negates every everything however because I've been down that road like I'm seeking God and seeking counseling so much for my heart to be able to heal enough and so I had a big test this past week just being honest with you was this week it big test called it was the energy was off a little bit and I was like I'm not going to respond correctly so I'm going to go home and I'm going just get some rest and so the next day of course it's like World War III like how could you want to go home and we don't have time and this that another and I was like no I knew that that little boy was going to mess up everything he was going to be so offended that you weren't excited that he was going to mess up everything wow so the next day yeah so the next day was like I got the little boy in check and the man appeared and she was like well keep that where he was you know what I'm saying I ain't got to deal with that but then the man stepped up and saying that n that's your little girl I offended her I'm still going to come and I'm going still be there to help you and that like those are some of the tools that I'm using to say this little boy is not going to keep me so traumatized because of what another woman did take this out if you want man don't apologize again you've apologized enough if whoever know they know I know your heart and the people that are closest to you they already know who you are bro no more apologies yes sir I'm I'm not going to really really cuss and the other part is this sometimes the man has to talk to that little boy and sometimes the little boy responds to the little girl you know but the man has to talk to that little boy and get him right one of the best things that I have learned how to do is I get up in the morning and I look in that mirror and I talk to that little boy and I tell him I'm proud of you I tell him I love you I tell him hey man you smart you're intelligent you know the world want to take everything from you man but they ain't going to do it today and that's me being proactive when I get up in the morning and I just will not allow life and just [ __ ] to damper this kid in me cuz I don't want him to grow up bro I need him to stay a kid cuz that's the best part of me you know that's the best part of me there's parts of me that's a man and I need him to be a man but then there are parts to be man as a kid I want him to play I want him to find curiosity I want him to you know enjoy himself you know and sometimes that boy got to listen to to that man tell him you all right man you're safe you're going to make some mistakes that's cool but I'm here ain't going nowhere and we got friends that are around us man that will be with us through thick and thin all the other people man that's trying to tell us otherwise they're always going to be in the comment section willly but as long as we stay in this space of authenticity and transparency man we're going to be okay bro yeah so yeah no man no I mean I'm [ __ ] I G say it no apologies man no you're doing the best that you can right you're doing what you know is best and you're going to be fine we all going to be fine man we all striving to be something that we are not but we're not currently right now but we on our way to it and guess what bro the journey is okay the journey is okay I'm not going to be there tomorrow and it's okay I'm gonna be okay with where I am and I'm gonna continue to move and so yeah we're gonna mess up and we're going to have to give us ourselves space to mess up and I can stay on that forever but good no thank you for sharing thank you for sure um you know last thing just you that was like a real [ __ ] moment just now that was like a real [ __ ] moment that was a moment just now real moment wait a minute here my dog out real quick invulnerable I think I think one of the things man we don't do is we don't we don't cry enough man it's just the think the thing is it's so refreshing to cry you know we don't necess got got to do it for the cameras you do it for the gram but it's so refreshing that's true had that conversation right right T I got to ask you this like you are now kind of doing premarital right like that's really really dope thank you for sharing thank for thank you for being safe enough to share that um what are you learning in premarital that's a lot different than any other therapy and counseling that you've done what are you learning about yourself man like the breath like man you know it's interesting because it's certain things you know people always say you know work on yourself while you single work on yourself while you single it's some things that you can only learn about yourself with a woman yeah it's it's certain parts of personal development that only comes with a woman it's that on the job Train That's train so the thing about it is I've I've learned that over these past few years whenever I've gotten too close or it got a little too emotional or I felt the bond getting too strong I would literally pull away from women I would literally run away from that I would do something to to to stifle that growth whether I just go a little Mia you don't hear much from me you know I'm I'm probably a little bit more agitated with you just unaware just not even knowing that this is what I'm doing yeah and you know now I'm in a situation where I'm with a woman that I actually want to be with and when problems occur which is typically where when problems occur bro that's when I'm just like listen good right you giving me I'm out of here right next that was how I that's how I dealt with issues but now I'm really having to to stand in there and face that to stand in there and face that problem which is so painful to deal with with me now it's a whole new pain that I'm learning and I can't do when I'm single cuz when I'm single I don't I don't I can't experience that obstacle unless I'm in a relationship so in premarital it has taught me um what it does is streamline the most important conversations honestly premarital we you should be in premarital counselor from the time you meet a woman you should literally be your own premarital counselor from start to finish the reason we get premarital counseling is because unfortunately we don't have the right conversations with the woman from the time we meet her so I'm blessed to say that preat counseling has allowed us to really look at ourselves very honestly very deeply our strengths our weaknesses and allowed us to like say yo we we want to how do we want to how do we want to build with these circumstances right in front of us M and you know when you put yourself through that you know it gives you a very objective view of the relationship and the decision you making and what I found for myself cuz now I'm I mean at this point it's it's on me cuz that's the thing about this these relationships the ladies be ready they be ready the ladies is we doing they ready what we doing what I want I realize that the next step is more about me than the woman at this point yes it's more about me making sure I'm ready to deal with absolutely everything that comes with the decision that is made and that's really something you got to pray on you got to settle on because listen I'm a host a hall initiated the last thing I'm trying to do is come on and give a damn divorce testimony so I think just even unknowingly the platform puts a level of pressure on me and responsibility because the last I even want the brothers of the channel seeing see I told you see that boy spoke to 65 therapist and he's still getting divorce marriage don't work that's exactly you marriage doesn't work I really feel like there's such a responsibility that I have it is to do it the right way and I'm just taking it very seriously so prematal again it gives you that objective eye at what it is you really taking on with that woman yeah so just final thoughts for everybody I hope y'all enjoying this I ain't even told you to subscribe I haven't been challenging you to do anything cuz I just been so engulfed into this uh conversation um ladies listen if any points are really touching you make sure you leave it in the comments of course you know I continuously look at those comments and uh to my patreon family thank you I hope this conversation is being curated the way we talked about U I really do appreciate it so just final thoughts you know um fellas vision is just so important the biggest thing in the world for a man is to have vision and you know just in these final moments you know what does the future look like as we move into you know your lives you know the one thing that I always tell people is the reason why I can be a little bit more laxed at my age now because I built this guy in my 30s I'm always 10 years ahead of the game so now I'm looking at like what my life is going to look like at 50 and what I want to see now I got knocked off my rocker with this divorce thing cuz I was like man I didn't see this coming you know so it's like I had to start at uh 3 years ago and like okay now do 53 you know what I mean like what does that look like um so I just kind of want to know like the vision for yourself that you have the vision that you'll be bringing a woman into and and ladies listen this ain't no like oh I could be a part of that but I just want to know where my brother stand and hopes that brothers who are watching they can say man I don't really you know what I'm saying I don't really I I ain't really see it like that I Ain know I should be thinking so far ahead what are your thoughts ktie man to me it just begins with authenticity bro just be real with yourself be open with yourself and be honest with yourself there's so many things man that we as black men we don't even say out loud yeah and there are things that we feel but we just don't feel comfortable enough to express it because far too often we are viewed our value seems to be our worth seems to be tied to our utility it's what we can do what we can provide and who we can provide it for but in truth man just the best thing that I can tell Brothers today is man to to love you bro like love you love you more hey you did hey can we make sure we get that sound that thing coming that thing coming you GNA hear that everywhere we got a KD B drop okay tan just you know kind of future what are your main goals focuses that you that you really have going on like what do you see what do you see yourself what's happening next man the biggest thing and it's been the theme of this year which has taken my I feel like it's taken my life to the next level really prioritizing my spiritual growth M that's good that's I've never done that in my life I've only focused on mastering myself as much as it gave me whatever material success I was chasing and I don't even want to make that sound a fairy when I say you know my spiritual growth yeah when I what I really mean by that is purely mastering myself conquering My Flesh purifying my mind and my heart because I don't even have i at the top of this year I didn't even have the heart and the mind Mind of a husband like my thoughts were not thoughts of a husband my desires were not desires of a husband and not even just a husband in the sense of a husband to a woman but a husband to anything in my life like I I I need to be a great husband to my business I need to be a great husband you know properly husband my family and I mean that the the verb husband husband these different areas of my life so my spiritual growth is key to me being able to prioritize the things in my life that's going to be able to really produce those results that I'm really wanting right now and because I think I was chasing that's why I I get it man seek ye first the kingdom when when we Chase everything outside of that we think we getting where we going faster we think this is the shortcut this is not the shortcut it's not the shortcut so now I'm understanding what that really means and I'm that's I'm I'm just on full go right now that's so good bro yeah I'm I'm really on along those same lines man it's so crazy even I I was so nervous to come up here to speak I mean when taan initially told me about it I he can tell you over the phone I tried to make excuses why we was over the phone why I was not going to be available and but I I was aware of that and that's the difference between the me of now and the me of the past that and I'm I feel great that I came too and I had to realize that it's really only two fears that that you born with it's only two natural fears and that's the fear of heights when you go to a ledge you feel it in your solar plex right and the fear of loud noise you actually have a bodily reaction and you and you turn your alertness to the attention of where the noise is coming from anything outside of that is literally a mental manifestation so something that youve created and now that I understand that when I acknowledge that and I become aware of it I immediately decide to to attack it because fear no longer stifles me right instead is now a call to action so when I realized how terrified I was to come up here and share the platform with you I was like this is exactly what I need to be doing and that's just where I'm at of my life I think outside of Christ I think self-control is the truest religion there is and I've really changed my life I stopped fornicating man I was sexing everybody I was sexing everything I stopped smoking yo I was smoking like a chimney every day four times a day I have changed everything about the actual person iin myself that I could just be honest with women verb be honest with women and fornicate with women and that was not indicative of my character but I understand that every decision you make is a test and indicative of your character and who you are so to me it's no longer about all of the material success it's about spiritual growth and maturity because we Are Spiritual Beings first and foremost and now that my mind is focused on exactly the only is I'm talking about the narrow road now that my mind is focused man I know that I can literally achieve everything so I would say that to anybody out there if you're having issues you have to first work on yourself I know people say that all the time but if you trying to find M you know you trying to you know solve spiritual problems with material Solutions you're not going to make it and you going to always be in the same place so these conversations I think and I and I love this for I love [ __ ] I'm so proud of you bro the grow like I remember sitting in that coffee shop dog and I remember being like T should we be afraid that will is going to take our business over should we be afraid that he's going to take over our market share and but but this is how I know my mind has developed because man the best thing you can do the best thing I can hope for you is for you to get better because if I hope for the many blessings to shine to to to shine upon you it's G it's undoubtedly gonna come back to me and that's just where I'm at man why know why the hell you crying on here because I'm getting emotional man I'm telling you listen I'm just I I'm just so blessed and so appreciative man and uh yeah that that's it bro I'm I'm I'm happy man I got to cry next yeah that's I'm just like y'all just opening me up man yeah you know I'm going to be honest um I'm on like mile number three maybe two weeks ago and I was like I don't have a vision for the first time in my life I didn't have a vision everything that I ever did was for my children everything wow I want to be the best husband for my I wanted to show them how to be the best husband get it um you know people may say well you um but you so successful and you was doing this and you doing that I was like when that home broke up I didn't think God spoke to me and then um I just start fishing and I just did didn't know exactly what I was going to do and for the first time the man who was telling everybody what they should do was clueless and I started leaning on my talent and I hid behind it for a very very long time yeah don't get me wrong God gave me a vision to love you more like because this is not about me it's for the people who on the other side of the camera who may be going through Hurts Habits breakups divorce and just being able to hear somebody on the other side it just feel good and you just cuz I didn't have this tool hardly initiated wasn't around when I was going through it or maybe I wasn't there maybe I was on that break when y'all was trying to get everybody on the app or something I'm like y'all messing everything thing up I wouldn't have had to be here you know what I mean but thank God I am um but finally as I was on Mile number three God said intentionality and I was like what does that mean God yeah and he was like I have you in every room but I just need you to be intentional with every room that I put you on I need you to be intentional with every relationship that I allow you to be a part of I need you to be intentional and like then he starts showing me with the rooms and the people that I'm with I'm sitting at the the table with a lot of great influences and stuff and my dear brother Ryan Cameron Lov life he's like so what do you see for yourself and they was like well 10 years I'm going to do this this I got this this and this and he got to me I was like I just think I'm just going to be serving for a little while until he give me a vision because because of the mantle that's on my life because I can communicate I can be sending people down this really long road that we get to a to a stop sign and be like well this wasn't the way he wanted me to go and I don't want to leave people in the wrong direction and so um the only thing I see now is strong intentionality I do see partnership for me I'm probably going to be the best husband that the world will ever see once I get over this fear um and I want to take care of my children but I asked you guys just so I can be um just so I can be inspired from what you see because I'm still seeking God on what he like really like I need you here don't get me wrong we going to do real estate of course you know we going to make some money I just with Marcus I'm like bro we about to do that you know what I mean I'm not talking about that I'm saying I usually know where I'm going to lay and I can feel how it's going to feel when I get there so I live in that feeling um but just at this moment if I can be honest perfectly we can come back to the table in the next 30 to 60 days just as brothers and I'll be like hey man with that word intentionality God is saying this this and this and I'm not rushing them I'm not outr running the pace of Grace you know um every room that I go in I'm just like well it's a new opportunity to represent him and whatever comes with that he's just sustaining and so to my fellas out there I wanted to be very vulnerable with you and I wanted to show you that at a table full of vision I'm a man who has a vision you know for finances and all that stuff but I'm talking about like the true purpose you know for years I thought it was just going to be pastoring and radioing and speaking and all of that um but I wanted you to be able to see a man barnable and being honest with a whole lot of brothers cuz sometimes bro we really got to have it together we just got to have people who know what you're going through so they can PR about it and assist you with it and so the second thing that I always ask at the end of it um because I do this with a lot of people um I just want one of us to pick one of the guys and I want you to affirm what you see in a brother and like I just want to be able to say hey this is what I see so I'll start off Katie what I see with you is that I see that you're going to Cocker fear by doing this today you're going to get a lot of attention from the words that you said but this time it's not going to go into your heart and your head and it's not going to be something that KD did what you now represent is a man who's been through so so much and you're so relatable and you're a bridge to so many men I see that you're going to be able to speak to thousands upon thousands of men in particular a lot of women are going to be so thankful when they get the opportunity to to send their me send their man to you because when they come back they'll be better but it's going to be Top Flight secret baby and the women ain't going to even really want want to know exactly what was going on they was just like when the next time you going to go see that [ __ ] cuz you came back cleaning up and fixing [ __ ] like they going to really do that so I see that for you Tashan I really really really in all my heart think that you're going to probably be one of the best husbands that the world has ever seen um I know that there have been plenty men in your life who have done it wrong and there have been a whole lot of men who have done it right and you've been able to balance the scale to find a happy medium um I think that when you two really get the opportunity to become one although she doesn't want to be in front of camera she's not a person who's going to really be want to be seen and all that stuff because she's a sweet girl who wants to be by your side I do see later on that you guys are going to get the opportunity to do some things together and I just appreciate that man and I I I'm going to draw Hope from you because I do see that thing moving a little faster because it's like your heart is posture for it so God's going to give you the desire of your heart after you get through this premarital you just have steps you're systematic and I appreciate that and I just think great things are going to happen in that Ryan I appreciate you putting down those things because you would have always had this anointing that you have on your life right now like I think you always would have had this anointing but the Bible says don't throw away your confidence cuz it'll be richly rewarded and those outside things were taken away your confidence so now when you show up you show up I'm talking about you show up not the version that used to show up that thought he had to be something the version that now that comes into a room that says no because of him I am who I need to be you become a man and I do see that this Bible study is going to grow brow and find it not strange when churches across the country start asking you to come don't be afraid don't say you're not a speaker whatever they ask you to do just say yes like like you said yesterday this was practice that when Bishop TD Jake say I need you to come sit on the panel don't make your boot Shake I'm going to be around all these people the Lord is telling me right now even as I speak to you and I say this like humbly when your words come out it will not be you it will be him yes thank you every single time you won't stutter you going to have the write words you won't even have to think it's almost like you're going to regurgitate everything that he's poured into you in this time of Exile this Wilderness season is not over for you mentally and it's time to move on to the Prosper the uh the expansion that you've already seen in your heart and your head and so I appreciate you Brothers man um I know we Running Out of Time U I would have like for everybody to do it but I want to just stay true to time cuz my editor is there he probably going to be like 60 minutes and he going to charge me a little extra but we going to put it on they dying uh but you know I just love you guys thank you so much this was something let me say this to camera I called them uh last night I'm in the car and I'm like I got this Vision man uh I want to get some men cuz I know women want to know what the hell is going on and I just I'm just so thankful that brothers would oblig to say yes I know I got a lot going on them boy probably going to be live for three more hours tonight cuz y'all be on it be like I go I go take a bath I'm like Dam we still cracking with what did we miss but I appreciate you and uh thank you thank you guys for being so vulnerable today like thank you for being being vulnerable today yeah you know this is so genuine and natural for us but it's time for everybody on the outside to feel how natural it is when Brothers get together and they have the opportunity to be hot honest open and transparent make sure you subscribe to this Channel and tell 10 people about this share this as much as POS possible and uh do me a favor um just make sure more than anything that you start praying for your man ladies like you can pray what you can't say if you know it offends him you can take it to the manufactur which is Jesus Christ and you can say God touch his heart touch his mind don't agitate him in this particular season don't let your pride overshadow who you really are in your character man you will pray and watch God transform that man my daddy he's 93 years old my mom is 83 years old and I still see her at night while she's making his SES praying for his mind wow then she get up in the morning and cuss his ass out the thing let me tell you what it is she pray and then I said Mama how you going to pray for him at 11:00 and then cuss his ass out at 8:30 and she said because he's cuz cuz he got to keep his mind I said what do you mean she said because when I'm aggressive with him it makes him think I don't know what I'll do if he loses his mind sometimes God will make you pray and if you can respond the way God is telling you to do now now now sometimes it might not be all passive and cute but if you pray with what you can't say and you do first and you follow Holy Spirit he'll give you strategy on how to make sure that that man continues to be the man that God has called him to be I just want to challenge you today ladies and fellas I pray that you are entertained I'm wiie Moore Jr encouraging you to love yourself more flat out love You More love You More love You More ...
