Be Irresistible, Click Here How to get HER in the MOOD (funny) We have to learn how to apologize in order to restore connection and...
How to get HER in the MOOD (funny) We have to learn how to apologize in order to restore connection and ...
all right next let's go over how to apologize all right let's do it research has actually shown that the way we repair conflict together makes or breaks our entire relationship so let's just imagine we unintentionally Hur our partner and they just vulnerably shared that with us using eye statements and actual feelings okay so not you make me so angry because you're so selfish and instead when this thing happened I felt overwhelmed or abandoned I like the second one the first one not so much yeah they did their part now let's do ours the way we show someone that we care when they're hurt is by leaning in and staying engaged and actually listening to them we can hold space for their pain that doesn't mean we need to abandon our boundaries and tolerate yelling or name calling right right let's not forget that the goal in all this is understanding each other we can't apologize until we actually understand what we're apologizing for right and we can't understand them if instead of asking questions and getting curious we're arguing getting defensive or constantly invalidating their feelings right that makes sense so once we understand them step two is actually taking accountability for our side of the street I'm not saying apologize for things you didn't do and I'm not saying agree with their accusations all right I'm saying apologize for what you know you could have done better in that situation keep excuses out of your apology don't justify yourself and don't somehow come back around and blame them for why you did or didn't do something that's smart step three is we recognize and validate the impact that our actions had on them we should say something along the lines of I can see now how you felt that way that makes sense it makes sense why you felt that way okay what's step four step four is expressing genuine remorse I'm sorry that was wrong here's what I'm going to do next time to prevent this from happening again thank you for sharing your heart with me is there anything else I can do to help repair this ...
