Be Irresistible, Click Here Mat Boggs shares relationship advice for women and 7 signs men give before they cheat, and that most wom...
Mat Boggs shares relationship advice for women and 7 signs men give before they cheat, and that most women miss. Check out ...
- Today we're gonna pull the curtain back and talk about something that no one ever wants to have happen to them and most people don't even wanna talk about this: the topic of cheating. And if you've ever been cheated on, you know just how horrible that experience is and how confusing the weird mixture of emotions that we go through. Like this emotion of embarrassment like it was something that you did that caused the other person to cheat. Or if you were different or better in some way then that wouldn't have happened. Well, know this: you cannot control somebody else's behavior. If they cheated that's on them and them alone. And if we can identify the signs, see, most people give signs before they actually take that action. And so if we can identify the signs, then that empowers us to be proactive earlier and create a different outcome. So today I'm gonna give you the seven signs that men give before they cheat, check it out. (bright music) Hey there, my name's Mat Boggs, and I'm the founder of the Love and Relationships Division of the Brave Thinking Institute, and our mission is empowering people to create and live a life they love. And that includes your love life. So if you like this video, I encourage you to click that little Subscribe button and click the little bell, because every week we bring you videos to empower you in your love life. I've had the privilege of over the last decade literally coaching hundreds and hundreds of women from all around the world. And unfortunately, being cheated on is a common experience. And when I'm coaching these women and they're asking me, "How can I trust again? How can I open my heart again?", and we look back, and I'll ask them, "Were there red flags that you saw before he cheated?" And in every single case, the answer is yes. There's always things that you see, things that you notice when something is off. And so today we're gonna look at the seven most common. Now, it doesn't mean if you see one of these seven signs that he's cheating, but it does mean if you experience one of these you wanna bring it up in the relationship, because the relationship might be off course and this is an opportunity to get it back on course or to make a decision for a new relationship. So number one is he picks unnecessary fights with you. If you notice that all of a sudden he's way more irritable or he's picking fights with you that he never used to pick before, and he's making you wrong in all these scenarios, and the two of you are fighting way more frequently. And here's what's happening, you see: he might not even know he's doing this, but his subconscious mind has a mechanism that's trying to make the relationship painful and uncomfortable because if the relationship is painful and uncomfortable, then it's easier to leave that relationship or it's easier to cheat. In other words, he feels guilty about what he's about to do or what he's currently doing, and so if he can make you the bad person then that reduces the sense of guilt that he feels. So if the two of you are fighting a lot, he's really irritable, making you the bad person, that's definitely something that you wanna bring up in the relationship. Number two is he's real sketchy with his phone, or maybe he has two phones. He starts taking calls out of the room or he goes way out of his way to make sure that you don't see a text that's coming through. Here's the deal: people who don't have anything to hide aren't trying to hide anything. I can remember dating my wife Irene, and we were making dinner together and my phone was where she was on the other side of the counter and it dinged with a text. I'm like, "Hey babe, can you open on my phone and read that text to me?" And she was like, "Are you serious?" I was like, "Yeah, read that text to me." She was like, "You're sure you want me to look at your phone?" (laughs) I laughed and I was like, "Yeah, I'm sure. Tell me who texted me, just read me the message." And she was like, and then she said, "Oh my gosh, that was so wild," because she realized the guys that she had dated before never wanted her to look at the phone. That's sketchy behavior. If he doesn't want you to see his phone or see what's going on that sketchy behavior, and you want to address any sketchy behavior going on in the relationship. And number three is you're not having sex anymore. So notice that all these are changes in behavior that there was one way of being and then there's a change in this behavior. And this one is really important because sex is a reflection of the level of connection and intimacy that the two of you are sharing together. And so if you had a good sex life and then you notice this change, you're not having sex anymore, the sex is dried up, that's a bad sign because that only lasts so long before you either fix it or the relationship dies. And so sometimes the sex dies and then the man will bring it up and he'll talk to you and try to fix it. Other times he's gonna go and look for that sex somewhere else. So if you notice that the sex is dried up in the relationship, it's definitely something that you want to address right away to see if you can get this relationship back on track. And number four, he tries to gaslight you. In other words, he tries to make you into the crazy one. He tries to make you look like you're crazy, paranoid, not trusting, and he'll flip the script. He'll try to make it that you're attacking him, that he's the victim here and there's nothing that he's done that's wrong, when all the while, even though he's trying to gaslight you, none of his stories make sense, nothing adds up, and he still doesn't have any straight answers for what's been going on. And he's trying to gaslight you because if he can make you doubt yourself, if he can make you question whether or not your memory and your interpretation of this is on, if he can make you think that it's actually off, then he moves into a power position. Do not let him do that to you. You sense that something's off because something is off. Trust that part of yourself and have the conversation with him. And number five is he's vague and mysterious about his time away from you. Listen, if a guy is in love with you, his time away with you, when he comes back what does he wanna do? He wants to share it with you. He wants to give you every detail. He wants to give you every experience, be like, "Look, my boys and I, we went here and we saw this and we did that and we experienced this. You're never gonna believe this. When this happened, this other thing happened." And he's telling you all the stories and he is telling you all about it. Why? Because he loves you. You're his partner and he wants to bring you right into his life. The guy where something's off is gonna be mysterious. He's gonna be vague. He's not gonna wanna give you any of the details because those details might lead to incriminating evidence. And even worse than that, there's a difference. Some guys are just bit more reticent. They're not gonna share as much. It's just their nature. But where this crosses the line into suspicious behavior is when he gets irritated for you asking questions about the details. And he'll get mad at you and try to make you wrong because you want to know what was going on. Yeah, of course she wants to know what's going on, dude. She loves you. She wants to hear about your life. And so if you're asking questions and he gets angry just because you're asking for some details, that's a red flag. If you wanna know the name of the restaurant that he went to with all of his buddies and he's getting angry, there's no need for that. Maybe you just want to know the name of that restaurant 'cause you wanna take your girlfriends there. Or maybe you wanna know the name of that restaurant because you're gonna take the next hot guy that you date after you dump his ass. And number six, he tells you about cheating on past girlfriends. Very important point. People will tell you who they are if you're willing to listen. One of the most important pieces of dating advice that I've ever heard is when people tell you who they are early in the relationship, believe them. And so one of the things that guys who cheat will do is when they're dating a woman, they'll tell stories about how they cheated. They didn't have enough guts to break up with a woman, so they cheated on her to get her to break up with him. And it won't just be one time. They'll have a couple of stories or a series of stories like that. One of the reasons guys will do this is because subconsciously this is a disclaimer for them. When they actually act in this behavior in the current relationship, they can say, "See, I told you. I tried to express who I was in this relationship." At the end of the day, if someone's bragging about their colorful past, you want to be very careful about how much you invest in that new relationship until you know that person's on a new track. And number seven is your intuition tells you something is off. Trust your intuition. Trust your intuition. You're not paranoid, you're not crazy, you're not going nuts. Your intuition is there for a reason. It is a still, small voice that's been given to you by your higher power and is there for a reason. So trust it. If something feels off, it's because there's a chance that something is off. And so your move in that moment is to bring it up. Have the guts to have a conversation. The quality of our life is determined by the number of uncomfortable conversations we're willing to have. Your willingness to bring up and have an uncomfortable conversation earlier in the relationship will be directly related to the quality and the depth of the relationship that you create. So my question for you is, what signs have you noticed someone acting with before they have cheated? Go ahead and post that in the comment section below. I hope this serves you. I appreciate you. Here is to your amazing love life and creating an epic, amazing romance for yourself. Thanks so much for watching and I'll see you soon. (upbeat music) ...
