My boyfriend (22) and I (23) have been dating for 3 years. When we first started dating, her mom was weird about me being another girl to ad...
My boyfriend (22) and I (23) have been dating for 3 years. When we first started dating, her mom was weird about me being another girl to add to the family, since her family has long been her brother, him, her dad, and her mom. Apparently, my boyfriend liked me in the bay and I liked his family too, however, my boyfriend expressed that his mother was not sure if he liked me. I decided not to take it personally since she didn’t know me well. After we’d been dating for about a year, I felt like part of the family and got along really well with everyone. My boyfriend is pretty close to his family so we would see them once or twice a week and that would be fine, however it was very exhausting spending time with his mother. What I mean by this is that we would come to dinner with her mom and her dad and after dinner her mom would want to have “girl talk”. She frequently talked about leaving her husband and she gossiped about my brothers’ girlfriend. She called the other girl provocative nicknames because of the way she dressed and she expressed that she hoped her son would leave her. She even went so far as to try to persuade her son to break up with her girlfriend. However, there was no real character problem, it was just the fact that her mother didn’t like him. Well, after quite a few months of these dinners and girl talk, I was extremely emotionally drained and had a very bad dislike for her. He didn’t want to be around her that much because he was exhausted. I told my boyfriend however he didn’t seem to understand why even though I told him everything his mom was putting on me. He continued to invite us to dinner and one day I yelled at his mother and told her that he didn’t feel like talking and needed some space. She immediately got mad and went up to my boyfriend and said, are you serious? And during the situation he was dumbfounded. He didn’t say anything and he looked so confused. We left and stopped eating. At that point I wanted to make amends and I sent her a message saying I was sorry and that I felt a lot of pressure and that I valued our relationship to which she replied "whatever you need!". followed by a ton of cheerful emojis, but it didn’t seem sincere. Since then it has been difficult and she has ostracized me from her family and started posting pictures with the other girlfriend like she was not insulting her and wanting her son to break up with her. She got mad when me and my boyfriend tried to go on vacation and insisted that she and her husband come and then on vacation she didn’t want me to go anywhere alone with my boyfriend or talk to her husband . She, in her words exactly, she told me “you should not have a relationship with my husband if you do not have a relationship with me.” And she even accused me of getting close to her husband. My boyfriend knows all of this and has talked to her mother about the situations, however she has never tried to reach out and repair the relationship or even try to have any kind of relationship since. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and she bothers me a lot that all that and more has happened and it seems that they have left it behind. I have so many negative feelings towards her, yet I don’t feel like I can talk to my boyfriend about it because it would stress him out and I don’t want to be the source of negativity when I can guarantee her mom already has. she got the position filled. Anyway, I’m bringing this up here because I’m in flight school working towards becoming a pilot and my boyfriend said his family said they wanted me to join his family business with my education and I felt very much against it. Her mom is the one who wants a family business and I feel like it’s pretty deaf to ask me for my trade after the way she has treated me. I’ve felt so rejected by his family that it’s such a polarizing change for them to suddenly want me to join them after finding out about my career. I told my boyfriend that he was probably a no and he doesn’t seem to understand why I am where I am. I want things to work out with my boyfriend and I want to move on and get past these issues. However, I don’t feel heard or understood and I don’t feel like she’s taken responsibility for so many horrible things she’s said and done, it’s hard for me to put up a front in front of my boyfriend. What should I do? The mom of the Tl;DR boyfriends has said extreme things and continued to be disrespectful. Bf doesn’t do much to stop and acknowledge her mother’s actions. Gf is lonely and not sure how to proceed
My boyfriend (22) and I (23) have been dating for 3 years. When we first started dating, her mom was weird about me being another girl to add to the family, since her family has long been her brother, him, her dad, and her mom. Apparently, my boyfriend liked me in the bay and I liked his family too, however, my boyfriend expressed that his mother was not sure if he liked me. I decided not to take it personally since she didn’t know me well. After we’d been dating for about a year, I felt like part of the family and got along really well with everyone. My boyfriend is pretty close to his family so we would see them once or twice a week and that would be fine, however it was very exhausting spending time with his mother. What I mean by this is that we would come to dinner with her mom and her dad and after dinner her mom would want to have “girl talk”. She frequently talked about leaving her husband and she gossiped about my brothers’ girlfriend. She called the other girl provocative nicknames because of the way she dressed and she expressed that she hoped her son would leave her. She even went so far as to try to persuade her son to break up with her girlfriend. However, there was no real character problem, it was just the fact that her mother didn’t like him. Well, after quite a few months of these dinners and girl talk, I was extremely emotionally drained and had a very bad dislike for her. He didn’t want to be around her that much because he was exhausted. I told my boyfriend however he didn’t seem to understand why even though I told him everything his mom was putting on me. He continued to invite us to dinner and one day I yelled at his mother and told her that he didn’t feel like talking and needed some space. She immediately got mad and went up to my boyfriend and said, are you serious? And during the situation he was dumbfounded. He didn’t say anything and he looked so confused. We left and stopped eating. At that point I wanted to make amends and I sent her a message saying I was sorry and that I felt a lot of pressure and that I valued our relationship to which she replied "whatever you need!". followed by a ton of cheerful emojis, but it didn’t seem sincere. Since then it has been difficult and she has ostracized me from her family and started posting pictures with the other girlfriend like she was not insulting her and wanting her son to break up with her. She got mad when me and my boyfriend tried to go on vacation and insisted that she and her husband come and then on vacation she didn’t want me to go anywhere alone with my boyfriend or talk to her husband . She, in her words exactly, she told me “you should not have a relationship with my husband if you do not have a relationship with me.” And she even accused me of getting close to her husband. My boyfriend knows all of this and has talked to her mother about the situations, however she has never tried to reach out and repair the relationship or even try to have any kind of relationship since. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and she bothers me a lot that all that and more has happened and it seems that they have left it behind. I have so many negative feelings towards her, yet I don’t feel like I can talk to my boyfriend about it because it would stress him out and I don’t want to be the source of negativity when I can guarantee her mom already has. she got the position filled. Anyway, I’m bringing this up here because I’m in flight school working towards becoming a pilot and my boyfriend said his family said they wanted me to join his family business with my education and I felt very much against it. Her mom is the one who wants a family business and I feel like it’s pretty deaf to ask me for my trade after the way she has treated me. I’ve felt so rejected by his family that it’s such a polarizing change for them to suddenly want me to join them after finding out about my career. I told my boyfriend that he was probably a no and he doesn’t seem to understand why I am where I am. I want things to work out with my boyfriend and I want to move on and get past these issues. However, I don’t feel heard or understood and I don’t feel like she’s taken responsibility for so many horrible things she’s said and done, it’s hard for me to put up a front in front of my boyfriend. What should I do? The mom of the Tl;DR boyfriends has said extreme things and continued to be disrespectful. Bf doesn’t do much to stop and acknowledge her mother’s actions. Gf is lonely and not sure how to proceed
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