I’ve (24f) been dating my boyfriend (26m) for 3 and a half years, but I still don’t feel ready to give up my own space and live together. I ...
I’ve (24f) been dating my boyfriend (26m) for 3 and a half years, but I still don’t feel ready to give up my own space and live together. I don’t know why, and I feel bad that he’s been ready to move in together for over a year.
My lease is up in July, so we’ve been talking about moving in together for a while, but I feel scared instead of excited. He is a great guy and I love him very much, but I feel like I will lose my independence and individuality.
This is my first time living alone (6 months now) and I feel like a one year lease with my own room is not enough. I don’t want to have to compromise what I can bring into our shared place and where I can put it.
He is very particular and opinionated about living spaces. I feel like a selfish asshole and I don’t want to be unfair to him and the time we both put into our relationship, but I just don’t feel ‘ready’. I suggested that we find a place with 3 bedrooms (his roommate would also be living with us) so that I could have my own space but we could still live together, and he is very hurt by that suggestion.
I’m not trying to put him through anything, I thought it was a good compromise, but he doesn’t get it. This makes me feel like I have thoughts/feelings that I shouldn’t have in a long-term relationship. If he’s ready, why not me?
Has anyone been through this or something similar? After almost 4 years, is it weird that he doesn’t feel ready for me? I don’t know what to do but any advice/opinion is appreciated. I also don’t know if this is enough context, but the reddit app is lagging a lot every time I write, so I can clarify/provide context in the comments of need. Thanks TL;DR I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and I still don’t feel ready to move in with him, even though he’s been ready for over a year.
I’ve (24f) been dating my boyfriend (26m) for 3 and a half years, but I still don’t feel ready to give up my own space and live together. I don’t know why, and I feel bad that he’s been ready to move in together for over a year. My lease is up in July, so we’ve been talking about moving in together for a while, but I feel scared instead of excited.
He is a great guy and I love him very much, but I feel like I will lose my independence and individuality. This is my first time living alone (6 months now) and I feel like a one year lease with my own room is not enough. I don’t want to have to compromise what I can bring into our shared place and where I can put it.
He is very particular and opinionated about living spaces. I feel like a selfish asshole and I don’t want to be unfair to him and the time we both put into our relationship, but I just don’t feel ‘ready’.
I suggested that we find a place with 3 bedrooms (his roommate would also be living with us) so that I could have my own space but we could still live together, and he is very hurt by that suggestion. I’m not trying to put him through anything, I thought it was a good compromise, but he doesn’t get it. This makes me feel like I have thoughts/feelings that I shouldn’t have in a long-term relationship. If he’s ready, why not me? Has anyone been through this or something similar?
After almost 4 years, is it weird that he doesn’t feel ready for me? I don’t know what to do but any advice/opinion is appreciated. I also don’t know if this is enough context, but the reddit app is lagging a lot every time I write, so I can clarify/provide context in the comments of need. Thanks TL;DR I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and I still don’t feel ready to move in with him, even though he’s been ready for over a year.
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